I am tired of hearing and reading people’s insinuations that someone like me (stay at home mother) is “less than” and even mocking the absurd idea of someone living my life. Being pregnant-being a mother-is not anti feminist! It is a FEMININE and FEMINIST as one can get! Barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen? Since when are these horrid atrocities? From where do you think you came? Since when is a person’s value directly connected to their paycheck? I spend every day with our four boys as they learn to navigate this mad world. Would I be a better person-a feminist- if we were to leave our boys with strangers for 6-8 hours 6 days a week? Would I be “fulfilled” in the eyes of this society if instead I worked at Walmart for minimum wage barely covering the cost of daycare? Or maybe I would be more respectable if I were to leave my children all day and go back to the last paying job I had working in a preschool classroom with 6 children and 3 adults so I could spend my day with 2 children-other people’s children?
Here are things that do not define feminism and do not automatically make one a feminist:
Having a paying job
Getting a job just because of affirmative action
Choosing a childless life
Not cooking and cleaning
Refusing to depend on a husband (or anyone) for anything
Putting down other women and girls for any reason
Here is what does define feminism:
Girls and women having the right to choose who, when, and if they marry
Having an equal right to education and an equal chance at an equal paying job if equally qualified
Having the right to choose a childless life or a life “barefoot and pregnant” without judgement or condemnation
Welcoming life no matter how it came to be, celebrating the wonders of which her body is capable and, if she is not ready for a life of parenting, making the ultimately feminine (and humane) choice to do what is best for her child by finding someone who is ready
The right to be independent if one so chooses or embracing the love and comfort that comes from healthy interdependence be it in a spousal relationship or within a community
Being a positive voice and example lifting up other girls and women (and all people) empowering one another to embrace who they are while sharing knowledge, offering support, and reserving judgement.
I am married. I am a homemaker. I homeschool our four boys. My husband brings in our only income. I cook and clean and so does he. We both change and wash diapers. I do the cooking and he maintains the cars he replaces buttons on clothes and I maintain our electronics because that is where our strengths lie. I am, as I type this, both barefoot and pregnant. I am a feminist.