Today is #WorldSuicidePreventionDay
I am choosing this video to show that people who are suicidal do not tend to show the darkness to the world. Often they are the most gregarious people you would ever meet-they become good at hiding the darkness asthey don’t want the darkness to destroy anyone else so they tend to be the people who go out of their way to make everyone else joyful.
Our precious, nephew-our cherished friend-Chancellor, did not make a choice to hurt us, he was not weak, he did not take the easy way out. Our dear cousin and friend, Tracy, taught me the moment that I told her Chancellor died that no one commits suicide-they die of it or from it. Chancellor died of suicide just as some people die from cancer-they don’t choose to let it kill them, it is a tragic and most often silent disease that takes over and steals those we love. The demons that haunted him won and I will always feel guilty for not realizing he was lying to me-I should have known better. He seemed to be in a sort of manic state which was always the cycle for him when I trusted he was safe from suicide. I now look back and see he was setting us all up to believe he was ok. He told me he was spending time with us and other people he loved deeply as often as he could because it was making him healthier. He was bringing his wife and kids around and telling me how much he wanted us to all travel together in the bus and someday they’d have a bunch of babies like us and we’d all live in the woods somewhere and have a farm. He knew this was coming-he knew he was dying. He gave sage advice to our big boys about family and education with deep seriousness that I now see in retrospect was him leaving a legacy to them. He was giving us instructions for when he was gone and I didn’t see it.
Suicide is not to be mocked, it is not to be ignored. Do not make light of it by saying things like, “I’ll shoot my self in the head if…” because it hurts so many of us on both sides of suicide and do not participate in pejorative talk about those who have died from suicide but talk about the truth about suicide. Talk about those who have died of suicide. Talk about how no god worthy of worship would ever refuse entry to eternal paradise to a suicide victim. Break the stigma so that people won’t be afraid to reach out for help. Talk about those who have died with the same love and respect you would devote to any other person who died tragically. Give grieving families a safe place to talk without fear of judgment or condemnation. If you are contemplating suicide please tell someone-anyone! So many people love you and care so deeply for you-even complete strangers!
To text with a crisis councilor text START to 741741
Trevor Project 24/7 tel: +18664887386
TrevorText – Text “Trevor” to 1-202-304-1200. Standard text messaging rates apply. Available on Thursdays and Fridays between 4:00pm – 8:00pm EST/1:00pm – 5:00pm PT
A list of international suicide prevention hotlines can be found here
For those of us bereaved by suicide:
With Love From Chancellor’s Proud Aunt,